In Defense of Self-Interest

For my first Father’s Day as a dad, I got a mug. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a lovely, customized travel mug. It’s covered in pictures that are now way out of date, since our first child had only been around for a few months. In one, she has that little baby smile every new parent craves. In another, she’s swaddled in a hospital blanket and tubes as I hold her during that brief, initial stay in the NICU. Even though we’ve taken countless pictures since, I still treasure every time I pull that mug out of the cupboard.

I remember holding it one Sunday in the Fellowship Hall, when a wise person pointed to the large “DAD” lettering on the side and said, “Be careful. Don’t let parenthood become your entire identity. You’re still you, you know.”

It took me a long time to figure out how poignant that advice really was. As much as I love my children, I have learned over the years that I am best as a parent when I care for myself as well as I care for them. Some days, that means I pour coffee in my mug before I get started on breakfast for everyone else.

Or, in the sage advice of flight attendants, “Put on your own oxygen mask before turning to assist others.”

You do not have to think poorly of yourself in order to be a good person. You do not have to put your own needs on the back burner in order to care for other people. Your identity is your own, first and foremost. Your needs, interests, and hopes are every bit as valid as the needs of everyone else.

A lot of folks get told this idea that it is bad to think about ourselves. Strangely, the people who hear it most are those who are often overlooked: women, people of color, and LGBTQIA folks, to name a few. “Pride goeth before the fall,” as people misquoting Proverbs 16 will say. Yes, some people can be conceited, focused inward, and concerned only about themselves, but that is not the same thing as having self esteem. You can be proud of who you are without putting others down. And, you can tend to the needs of others without neglecting your own needs. There is enough space for everyone to be celebrated and valued for who they are. Love and service are not zero sum games. There should be no winners or losers when it comes to compassion.

There’s this passage in Paul’s letter to the Philippians where he makes a plea to empathy. He writes: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.”

Paul was dealing with issues of arrogance when he wrote those words. The selfishness of a few was threatening the unity of the community. In the verses that follow, he reminds us that Jesus, the Son of God, had the greatest reason of all to be proud and boastful, yet he gave all that up in order to serve to the point of death. But you are not Jesus. You do not have to die in order to serve anyone. And even Jesus made sure to take care of himself and refill his cup every now and then.

I recently heard another pastor say that we don’t have to choose between being selfish or being selfless. We can meet in the middle with self-interest, caring for ourselves and focusing our outward care in ways that line up with our passions. That is the very definition of compassion. I am self-interested in raising my children as best I can. I am self-interested in creation care. And as Christians, my hope is that all of us are self-interested in sharing the good news of Jesus by the way we live with compassion for one another. 

Peace,

Pastor Chad McKenna

Walking through the Church

Have you ever walked through a church building in the dark?  I know this may sound odd, but there is something sacred about walking in the church when it is dark.  When I have walked through St. Mark in the dark I noticed the moon light shining through the skylights and the street lights giving off just enough light that you can see the tree branches sway through the stained glass.  The gentle light that shines into the building from the moon and street lights offers a stillness that I don’t feel during the day.

What do you think about walking through the church building in the dark?  When we play sardines at youth group, the darker the better.  The darkness helps the person hiding from being found too quickly.  Some people find it scary and do not want to be in a dark church.   When I get a chance to walk through the church in the dark, I am often by myself and the church is very quiet and still.  This is a sacred moment for me.  Darkness holds a mystery but darkness also holds rest and quiet.    

The quiet, stillness of the sanctuary offers a restful and peaceful space to spend time with God.  A time to pray and a time to listen.  A time to take a deep breath and let go of the craziness of the day.   We all need a time to connect with God and a time for rest.  I encourage you to find your sacred space to spend time with God.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor Katrina Steingraeber       

     

St. Mark Supports Habitat

While sitting in the sanctuary waiting for church to start, I thought, “most members have no idea how many St. Mark members live out their faith by volunteering for Rockford Area Habitat for Humanity.” Habitat’s mission is to provide safe, affordable housing for deserving low income families in the Rockford area.

If you happen to go shopping at ReStore (Habitat’s resale shop), 7141 Harrison Avenue, on a Monday morning, you might see several St. Mark faces. John Hargrove and Bob Osolin will wave at you as they drive the truck out of the parking lot to pick up a load of donated goods (example: tile, sinks, electrical fixtures) from our partner suppliers. Don Coffman will be around to help unload the truck when they get back. Chuck Schroeder is working in the Hardware department along with Karen Ganschow, and Dave and Gillian Collier. Don Daniels joins the Hardware crew on Thursdays.  Maureen Hargrove, Pat Coffman, and I will be in the Lighting department – cleaning donated fixtures and working on the displays. Mary Kay Schingoethe recently joined the Vintage department and has been putting her retail experience to good use.   Some of these volunteers also work other days of the week. 

There are six houses under construction at the build site in Emerson Estates located to the west of Auburn High School.  You might recognize the Foreman of the Community Build: Jeff Stovall. You might see John Buzzard helping the First Free team on their house.  Both men work Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday most weeks or as much as needed to complete the houses during build season.  Pastor Katrina recently participated in the Women’s Build Day. Other members have spent a day building with their employer or group. 

When the homes are completed and dedicated (both pastors have participated), new handmade quilts are presented to each family member by the St. Mark Sews and Sews which includes Nancy Eckburg, Nancy Leonard, Marsha Carlson, Sally Campbell, Chris Allen, and Sue Schroepfer.

Once a summer sixty-five sack lunches for the build team are prepared by St. Mark members.  Dick Crooks, Kelly Champion, and Jacey Nausner are the crew who have made the lunches for several years.  This year cookie bakers assisted them: Marcia Cook, Renee Fager, Jane Lundstrom, and Cassie Paulsen.  

Organizations like Habitat function well when there is good administration.  Pat Coffman and John Hargrove serve on the board of directors. Other members serve on committees throughout the year. It is amazing to see how many St. Mark members are involved with this very worthwhile effort to give a hand-up to those in need of safe housing. Disclaimer: We probably forgot someone and apologize for that omission.

If you would like to join these volunteers for Habitat, you can contact any of the people mentioned above or the Habitat Volunteer Coordinator Jessica at 815-636-4573.

Stella Schroeder

Experience & Cicadas

Chances are, if you live in Rockford and haven’t really ventured out lately, you are probably wondering what all the fuss is about. Maybe you have seen photos or videos of them emerging in the Chicago suburbs, but you have yet to notice any signs in your own neighborhood. While some folks who live near forest preserves may have witnessed their presence, here in the Forest City excitement over the seventeen-year cicada has, so far, been nothing more than hype.

Whether the quiet air is a relief or a letdown, I would encourage you to at least take a brief trek up near Rockton, or down to Blackhawk Springs Forest Preserve, where the cicadas are in full gear. You don’t even have to get out of your car — just the sheer volume of their droning is like nothing I have ever heard. The hype is real. If you do go, consider taking a set of earplugs to donate to the folks who live nearby!

This whole entomological event is a wonderful reminder that even in the most common of circumstances, people will have vastly different experiences. Cicadas emerge in pockets, terrorizing some and completely avoiding others. A solar eclipse leaves a narrow line of communities breathless, while those only a dozen miles away are rendered unimpressed. Some people are eager to celebrate Father’s Day next week, while others will greet the day with grief.

We can experience the exact same moment, but our unique, individual stories will turn that moment into a type of Rorschach test, reflecting our own histories back on us. The only way to know that some people witness totally different images in the inkblots is to ask, listen, and believe.

I grew up in a small town, where those in the LGBT community were at best mocked, and at worst outright shunned. That was the only view I knew. But once I moved away, I met wonderful people so different from me and learned the depth of joy that can be found when we celebrate people for who God has made them to be. By listening to others, we can discover that the world is so much bigger, complicated, and wonderful than it ever could be if everyone was exactly the same.

The wonderful thing about diversity is that we have so much to learn from one another. I don’t know what it’s like to grow up in a city. I will never be a minority. I have never felt compelled to move to a new country simply to survive. But, I can listen. Learning about the different experiences others have had creates empathy and helps us embrace the valid, human experiences of our neighbors. We are all unique children of God, wonderfully made in God’s image.

Cicadas aren’t made in God’s image, but they too are wonderful. 

Peace,

Pastor Chad McKenna

All the Emotions (Trigger Warning: my article talks about the death of a child)

Each year as Mother’s Day approaches, I am aware of the mixed emotions that the day brings. Many of us spend the days leading up to Mother’s Day planning what we will give our mothers and what we will eat that day.  For other’s this is a day of mixed emotions because they have experienced the grief of losing a child. 

I myself have not lost a child of my own, but my family knows what that loss feels like.  With the permission of my parents, I want to share my families experience with the death of a baby.  When I was a few years old my family experienced the loss of a baby boy.  My brother’s name is James Joseph Kyle and his death was an intrauterine death or stillbirth.  While I was too young to remember the heavy grief that comes with the death of a baby, my family often talks about him.  There was and still is grief from Kyle’s death.  I am grateful my parents were willing to talk about Kyle.  Because we talked about him, I have always felt a connection to Kyle. 

When Kyle was born, people didn’t talk about intrauterine death or stillbirth like they do today.  And there is room for improvement.  There was little to no support for my parents.  I hope the support is better now, but I acknowledge that all the support in the world cannot take the pain away. 

I share my family’s story to remind people that days that celebrate parents are not always the joyful celebration that is depicted in greeting cards.  There are many emotions that people carry that we do not see or hear or are even aware of happening all around us. 

I invite you to lift up in prayer the families that have lost a child of any age.  The death of a child is hard and the grieving never stops, it just changes over time. 

Yours in Christ, 

Pastor Katrina Steingraeber

        

Everything Deserves a Space

A few years ago, I planted a few beautiful coneflowers in one of the sunniest spots in the yard. The little greenhouse card staked into the pot told me this was the right space for them to go. But, after a few weeks of perfect sunny days, interspersed with just enough rain, those transplants turned to absolute mush. It turns out soil is as just important as sun, and the ground where I had put them was simply too wet. For those of us who garden, knowing the proper place for a plant is often a lesson we learn the hard way.

The creation poem in the first chapter of Genesis shines a light on the importance of space. I’m not talking about a final frontier of endless galaxies. What I mean is that in the act of creation, God spends precious time establishing a specific space for each created thing to call home.

 

There is a very specific order to the way things happen. In the first three days, spaces are created— the heavens, the sky and sea, and the dry earth. The following three days then fill those three spaces in order— the moon and stars, followed by birds and fish, and finally land animals and people. The structure of the poem reveals that habitats are equally vital to creation as the creatures who inhabit them. God creates a space for all that is, and all along the way, God calls each space and every created thing good.

 

All this might remind you of that old proverb about being tidy: “A place for everything and everything in its place.” That might be a nice sentiment if you are trying to declutter your kitchen, but an obsession with storage solutions doesn’t really work outside the walls of your home. Nothing good happens when we confine people or wildlife to certain spaces simply to protect our own claim to a place. When it comes to the lives of others, order without goodness is oppression. We see this whenever walls block in entire communities or fences limit the age-old migrations of wildlife. When we read beyond the first chapter of scripture, we learn how we are tasked with preserving the habitats and housing of our neighbors so that their homes might be a place where they can thrive. And sometimes that means getting out of the way.

 

Here is one example. Earlier this week, the Prairie Band Potawatomi established the first ever tribal land in the state of Illinois. After purchasing bits of land for years, the indigenous nation handed over a mere 130 acres to the Department of the Interior to formally restore what was taken from them over 150 years ago. In relation to this, our state senate is now considering a bill that will turn all 1,500 acres of Shabonna Lake State Park over to the Prairie Band Potawatomi, who were the original stewards of that corner of our state.

 

At the end of the creation poem, God creates humankind in God’s own image, calls us good, and tasks us with continuing the joyful work of creating a world that is good for all. Every creature deserves its habitat, every peoples a free and just community, and every individual a safe place to call home.

Peace,

Pastor Chad McKenna

God at Work in Nature

One of my favorite parts of spring is watching nature come to life after resting all winter long.  It is even more joyous and meaningful because this happens in the Easter season.  I was very excited when my tulips, hyacinths, and daffodils started popping out of the ground.  This excitement quickly turned to worrying if my flowers would survive the additional snowfall in March. Thankfully most of them have fared well despite being buried under snow for a bit. 

I noticed recently that my plum tree has little flowers on it.  I just love the dainty little white flowers that blossom in the spring.  I am anxiously waiting for my redbud tree to flower.  Both of these trees are favorite spots for the birds to stop and rest as they visit my yard. 

As I look at all the new growth in my yard, I see signs of God at work in creation.  One of the places where I feel connected to God is in nature.  I enjoy being outside.  I enjoy the sounds of nature and the colors of nature.  I enjoy watching the bare trees fill their branches with leaves.  Each day it seems like something new is popping out of the ground. This is God at work in nature right in front of us.   

I encourage you to look out your window or better yet go outside.  While you do this, engage your senses and take in all that is happening in nature.  God is a work in nature and God is at work in you.  It is amazing what God can do for us if we take a moment to stop, listen, and look around at all God is doing in our lives and in nature.

Yours in Christ, 

Pastor Katrina Steingraeber