St. Mark Memos
Thursday, July 25, 2024
My Time as the Summer Intern
Thursday, July 18, 2024
Wednesday, July 3, 2024
In Defense of Self-Interest
For my first Father’s Day as a dad,
I got a mug. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a lovely, customized travel mug. It’s
covered in pictures that are now way out of date, since our first child had
only been around for a few months. In one, she has that little baby smile every
new parent craves. In another, she’s swaddled in a hospital blanket and tubes
as I hold her during that brief, initial stay in the NICU. Even though we’ve
taken countless pictures since, I still treasure every time I pull that mug out
of the cupboard.
I remember holding it one Sunday in the Fellowship Hall, when a wise person pointed to the large “DAD” lettering on the side and said, “Be careful. Don’t let parenthood become your entire identity. You’re still you, you know.”
It took me a long time to figure out how poignant that advice really was. As much as I love my children, I have learned over the years that I am best as a parent when I care for myself as well as I care for them. Some days, that means I pour coffee in my mug before I get started on breakfast for everyone else.
Or, in the sage advice of flight attendants, “Put on your own oxygen mask before turning to assist others.”
You do not have to think poorly of yourself in order to be a good person. You do not have to put your own needs on the back burner in order to care for other people. Your identity is your own, first and foremost. Your needs, interests, and hopes are every bit as valid as the needs of everyone else.
A lot of folks get told this idea that it is bad to think about ourselves. Strangely, the people who hear it most are those who are often overlooked: women, people of color, and LGBTQIA folks, to name a few. “Pride goeth before the fall,” as people misquoting Proverbs 16 will say. Yes, some people can be conceited, focused inward, and concerned only about themselves, but that is not the same thing as having self esteem. You can be proud of who you are without putting others down. And, you can tend to the needs of others without neglecting your own needs. There is enough space for everyone to be celebrated and valued for who they are. Love and service are not zero sum games. There should be no winners or losers when it comes to compassion.
There’s this passage in Paul’s letter to the Philippians where he makes a plea to empathy. He writes: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.”
Paul was dealing with issues of arrogance when he wrote those words. The selfishness of a few was threatening the unity of the community. In the verses that follow, he reminds us that Jesus, the Son of God, had the greatest reason of all to be proud and boastful, yet he gave all that up in order to serve to the point of death. But you are not Jesus. You do not have to die in order to serve anyone. And even Jesus made sure to take care of himself and refill his cup every now and then.
I recently heard another pastor say that we don’t have to choose between being selfish or being selfless. We can meet in the middle with self-interest, caring for ourselves and focusing our outward care in ways that line up with our passions. That is the very definition of compassion. I am self-interested in raising my children as best I can. I am self-interested in creation care. And as Christians, my hope is that all of us are self-interested in sharing the good news of Jesus by the way we live with compassion for one another.
Peace,
Pastor Chad McKenna
Wednesday, June 19, 2024
Walking through the Church
Have you ever walked through a church building in the dark? I know this may sound odd, but there is something sacred about walking in the church when it is dark. When I have walked through St. Mark in the dark I noticed the moon light shining through the skylights and the street lights giving off just enough light that you can see the tree branches sway through the stained glass. The gentle light that shines into the building from the moon and street lights offers a stillness that I don’t feel during the day.
What do you
think about walking through the church building in the dark? When we play sardines at youth group, the
darker the better. The darkness helps
the person hiding from being found too quickly.
Some people find it scary and do not want to be in a dark church. When I
get a chance to walk through the church in the dark, I am often by myself and
the church is very quiet and still. This
is a sacred moment for me. Darkness
holds a mystery but darkness also holds rest and quiet.
The quiet,
stillness of the sanctuary offers a restful and peaceful space to spend time
with God. A time to pray and a time to
listen. A time to take a deep breath and
let go of the craziness of the day. We all need a time to connect with God and a
time for rest. I encourage you to find
your sacred space to spend time with God.
Yours in Christ,
Pastor Katrina Steingraeber
Thursday, June 13, 2024
St. Mark Supports Habitat
While sitting in the sanctuary waiting for church to start, I thought, “most members have no idea how many St. Mark members live out their faith by volunteering for Rockford Area Habitat for Humanity.” Habitat’s mission is to provide safe, affordable housing for deserving low income families in the Rockford area.
If you
happen to go shopping at ReStore (Habitat’s resale shop), 7141 Harrison Avenue,
on a Monday morning, you might see several St. Mark faces. John Hargrove and
Bob Osolin will wave at you as they drive the truck out of the parking lot to
pick up a load of donated goods (example: tile, sinks, electrical fixtures)
from our partner suppliers. Don Coffman will be around to help unload the truck
when they get back. Chuck Schroeder is working in the Hardware department along
with Karen Ganschow, and Dave and Gillian Collier. Don Daniels joins the
Hardware crew on Thursdays. Maureen
Hargrove, Pat Coffman, and I will be in the Lighting department – cleaning
donated fixtures and working on the displays. Mary Kay Schingoethe recently
joined the Vintage department and has been putting her retail experience to
good use. Some of these volunteers also
work other days of the week.
There are
six houses under construction at the build site in Emerson Estates located to
the west of Auburn High School. You
might recognize the Foreman of the Community Build: Jeff Stovall. You might see
John Buzzard helping the First Free team on their house. Both men work Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday
most weeks or as much as needed to complete the houses during build season. Pastor Katrina recently participated in the
Women’s Build Day. Other members have spent a day building with their employer
or group.
When the
homes are completed and dedicated (both pastors have participated), new
handmade quilts are presented to each family member by the St. Mark Sews and
Sews which includes Nancy Eckburg, Nancy Leonard, Marsha Carlson, Sally
Campbell, Chris Allen, and Sue Schroepfer.
Once a
summer sixty-five sack lunches for the build team are prepared by St. Mark
members. Dick Crooks, Kelly Champion,
and Jacey Nausner are the crew who have made the lunches for several
years. This year cookie bakers assisted
them: Marcia Cook, Renee Fager, Jane Lundstrom, and Cassie Paulsen.
Organizations
like Habitat function well when there is good administration. Pat Coffman and John Hargrove serve on the
board of directors. Other members serve on committees throughout the year. It
is amazing to see how many St. Mark members are involved with this very
worthwhile effort to give a hand-up to those in need of safe housing. Disclaimer:
We probably forgot someone and apologize for that omission.
If you would
like to join these volunteers for Habitat, you can contact any of the people
mentioned above or the Habitat Volunteer Coordinator Jessica at 815-636-4573.
Stella Schroeder
Thursday, June 6, 2024
Experience & Cicadas
Chances are, if you live in Rockford
and haven’t really ventured out lately, you are probably wondering what all the
fuss is about. Maybe you have seen photos or videos of them emerging in the
Chicago suburbs, but you have yet to notice any signs in your own neighborhood.
While some folks who live near forest preserves may have witnessed their
presence, here in the Forest City excitement over the seventeen-year cicada
has, so far, been nothing more than hype.
Whether the quiet air is a relief or a letdown, I would encourage you to at least take a brief trek up near Rockton, or down to Blackhawk Springs Forest Preserve, where the cicadas are in full gear. You don’t even have to get out of your car — just the sheer volume of their droning is like nothing I have ever heard. The hype is real. If you do go, consider taking a set of earplugs to donate to the folks who live nearby!
This whole entomological event is a wonderful reminder that even in the most common of circumstances, people will have vastly different experiences. Cicadas emerge in pockets, terrorizing some and completely avoiding others. A solar eclipse leaves a narrow line of communities breathless, while those only a dozen miles away are rendered unimpressed. Some people are eager to celebrate Father’s Day next week, while others will greet the day with grief.
We can experience the exact same moment, but our unique, individual stories will turn that moment into a type of Rorschach test, reflecting our own histories back on us. The only way to know that some people witness totally different images in the inkblots is to ask, listen, and believe.
I grew up in a small town, where those in the LGBT community were at best mocked, and at worst outright shunned. That was the only view I knew. But once I moved away, I met wonderful people so different from me and learned the depth of joy that can be found when we celebrate people for who God has made them to be. By listening to others, we can discover that the world is so much bigger, complicated, and wonderful than it ever could be if everyone was exactly the same.
The wonderful thing about diversity is that we have so much to learn from one another. I don’t know what it’s like to grow up in a city. I will never be a minority. I have never felt compelled to move to a new country simply to survive. But, I can listen. Learning about the different experiences others have had creates empathy and helps us embrace the valid, human experiences of our neighbors. We are all unique children of God, wonderfully made in God’s image.
Cicadas aren’t made in God’s image, but they too are wonderful.
Peace,
Pastor Chad McKenna
Thursday, May 9, 2024
All the Emotions (Trigger Warning: my article talks about the death of a child)
Each year as Mother’s Day approaches, I am aware of the mixed emotions that the day brings. Many of us spend the days leading up to Mother’s Day planning what we will give our mothers and what we will eat that day. For other’s this is a day of mixed emotions because they have experienced the grief of losing a child.
I myself
have not lost a child of my own, but my family knows what that loss feels like. With the permission of my parents, I want to
share my families experience with the death of a baby. When I was a few years old my family
experienced the loss of a baby boy. My
brother’s name is James Joseph Kyle and his death was an intrauterine death or
stillbirth. While I was too young to
remember the heavy grief that comes with the death of a baby, my family often
talks about him. There was and still is
grief from Kyle’s death. I am grateful
my parents were willing to talk about Kyle. Because we talked about him, I have always
felt a connection to Kyle.
When Kyle
was born, people didn’t talk about intrauterine death or stillbirth like they
do today. And there is room for
improvement. There was little to no
support for my parents. I hope the
support is better now, but I acknowledge that all the support in the world
cannot take the pain away.
I share my
family’s story to remind people that days that celebrate parents are not always
the joyful celebration that is depicted in greeting cards. There are many emotions that people carry that
we do not see or hear or are even aware of happening all around us.
I invite you
to lift up in prayer the families that have lost a child of any age. The death of a child is hard and the grieving
never stops, it just changes over time.
Yours in Christ,
Pastor Katrina Steingraeber
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