Thursday, May 9, 2024

All the Emotions (Trigger Warning: my article talks about the death of a child)

Each year as Mother’s Day approaches, I am aware of the mixed emotions that the day brings. Many of us spend the days leading up to Mother’s Day planning what we will give our mothers and what we will eat that day.  For other’s this is a day of mixed emotions because they have experienced the grief of losing a child. 

I myself have not lost a child of my own, but my family knows what that loss feels like.  With the permission of my parents, I want to share my families experience with the death of a baby.  When I was a few years old my family experienced the loss of a baby boy.  My brother’s name is James Joseph Kyle and his death was an intrauterine death or stillbirth.  While I was too young to remember the heavy grief that comes with the death of a baby, my family often talks about him.  There was and still is grief from Kyle’s death.  I am grateful my parents were willing to talk about Kyle.  Because we talked about him, I have always felt a connection to Kyle. 

When Kyle was born, people didn’t talk about intrauterine death or stillbirth like they do today.  And there is room for improvement.  There was little to no support for my parents.  I hope the support is better now, but I acknowledge that all the support in the world cannot take the pain away. 

I share my family’s story to remind people that days that celebrate parents are not always the joyful celebration that is depicted in greeting cards.  There are many emotions that people carry that we do not see or hear or are even aware of happening all around us. 

I invite you to lift up in prayer the families that have lost a child of any age.  The death of a child is hard and the grieving never stops, it just changes over time. 

Yours in Christ, 

Pastor Katrina Steingraeber


        

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