Each year as Mother’s Day approaches, I am aware of the mixed emotions that the day brings. Many of us spend the days leading up to Mother’s Day planning what we will give our mothers and what we will eat that day. For other’s this is a day of mixed emotions because they have experienced the grief of losing a child.
I myself
have not lost a child of my own, but my family knows what that loss feels like. With the permission of my parents, I want to
share my families experience with the death of a baby. When I was a few years old my family
experienced the loss of a baby boy. My
brother’s name is James Joseph Kyle and his death was an intrauterine death or
stillbirth. While I was too young to
remember the heavy grief that comes with the death of a baby, my family often
talks about him. There was and still is
grief from Kyle’s death. I am grateful
my parents were willing to talk about Kyle. Because we talked about him, I have always
felt a connection to Kyle.
When Kyle
was born, people didn’t talk about intrauterine death or stillbirth like they
do today. And there is room for
improvement. There was little to no
support for my parents. I hope the
support is better now, but I acknowledge that all the support in the world
cannot take the pain away.
I share my
family’s story to remind people that days that celebrate parents are not always
the joyful celebration that is depicted in greeting cards. There are many emotions that people carry that
we do not see or hear or are even aware of happening all around us.
I invite you
to lift up in prayer the families that have lost a child of any age. The death of a child is hard and the grieving
never stops, it just changes over time.
Yours in Christ,
Pastor Katrina Steingraeber
