I recently shared a devotion at a staff meeting titled, Nicodemus and the Truth, from the book titled The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. The point of the devotion was that there is a Nicodemus and a Jesus in all of us. Nicodemus was a Pharisee who secretly believed in Jesus. He would meet with Jesus in secret at night, but would never acknowledge his association with Jesus during the day. (John 3:1-21)
“This story
shows us the quiet pain that comes from not honoring what we know to be true,
even if all we know to be true are the questions we are asking. It is even more useful to realize that we
each carry a Jesus and a Nicodemus within us; that is, we each have a divine
inner voice that opens us to the truth and a mediating social voice that is
reluctant to show its truth to others.” (pg. 62 The Book of Awakening)
There are
definitely times when I give into the Nicodemus in me. These are moments when I shy away from
telling the truth. These are moments
that it is easier to stick with the “old ways” out of habit or fear even when I
know things have changed. These are
times when I have heard the divine inner voice in secret, but deny it in
public.
“But this
moment of inner embarrassment, when we catch ourselves in the act of split
living, is also the recurring chance for us to honor once again what we know to
be true. For anyone, no matter how
wounded or distressed, can in a moment of truth let the God within show itself
out here in the world. However small or
fleeting, this one repeatable act can restore our common and vital sense of
being alive.” (pg. 62 The Book of
Awakening)
As I reflex
on this devotion, I am reminded to listen to and act on the inner divine voice
of Jesus. And when I fail, I will try to
give myself grace and comfort the Nicodemus in me that it is safe to honor what
it knows in the light of day. I thank
God for the continued inner divine voice that does not give up even when the
inner Nicodemus seems to win.
Peace, Pastor Katrina Steingraeber
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